While this season is supposed to be all about gifts & happiness many of us can’t stand them, this is why we brought to you a list of dirty dad jokes. Christmas depression is a fact, and unlike the jokes we’re about to tell you, it should be taken seriously, since December holds the higher suicide rates. If you ever feel extra sad & unmotivated around these dates, please contact professional health.
Nevertheless, if you detect your low mood response to the weather and a simple postmodern antisocial behavior on dates of forced coexistence, these jokes are for you. If you’re having a bad time at a family dinner or standing alone at home and want some entertainment, laughing at these jokes can boost your mood. On the other hand, if you do want to connect with people, these jokes are amazing to break the ice.
You don’t need to be a dad to make dad jokes. These jokes are dirty and sometimes even bad, but always funny. However, a real dad without dad jokes is like a car without an engine; it just kind of sits there, leaking gas. Just have in mind some of these jokes aren’t precisely kid-friendly, so if there are children listening around you might want to save them for an adult reunion. Here are our top ten dirty dad jokes.
Age is always something to consider
I asked my dad for filthy dad jokes but he was too old to keep them coming.
Many people could use some eggs
Chicken eggs have perfected the art of getting laid without the need for a cock.
We ignore all the possibilities behind our body parts
My dad’s golf group has started using their penises instead of golf clubs. I thought that was so strange, but he says it’s because he’s never seen a dick without a hole in one.
Remember to get your annual doctor’s check
I had to go to the doctor because I’ve been having lots of irregular bowel movements. They diagnosed me with all kinds of weird shit.
Some things change during winter
Presumably, the yeti’s father has snowballs.
For all the exotic dancers . . .
My dad said I should never go to a cheap and sleazy strip club because I might see something I should never see. But I went anyway. And once there, I saw my dad.
Careful with the blue pill
We just found out Grandpa is now addicted to Viagra. We told him to call the Viagra addiction hotline, but we had no luck convincing him to follow the steps.
Please eat well during this season
What’s the difference between a vampire and an anemic? One sucks blood, and the other’s blood sucks.
There are patterns we just can’t escape
I knew I was becoming like my father when I saw the disappointed look in my mother’s eyes.
Do all of us struggle with blurry pictures taken by our parents?
My best friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures in the shower. He has serious selfie steam issues.
Although its December, you should have mosquito repellent near you
A mosquito’s grandfather became a divorce lawyer. He was already a bloodsucking parasite, but now he has a briefcase.